Shelley's Oldsmobile

Years ago, I wrote this little ditty for a friend of mine. The car in question was really a Pontiac Parisienne, but let's not quibble about details. Parisienne doesn't rhyme like Oldsmobile does.

Anyway, I pulled this tune out for the first time in about 15 years at Rasputin's in Ottawa last weekend, with the real Shelley in attendance, and strummed it out on the ukulele. "Feel good song of the decade!" proclaimed Shelley, and lo, it was good.

I've got a friend named Shelley and she motors right along
She drives a mighty Oldsmobile that's 99 feet long
It towers up above her like a gleaming wall of steel
The legendary monster known as Shelley's Oldsmobile

It holds three dozen people, a dog and a case of beer
It's got two seperate engines for the front and for the rear
If you've ever steered a battleship you'll know just how it feels
To be roaring down the highway in Shelley's Oldsmobile

Now Shelley's from Saskatchewan and her town is pretty small
If you sneezed while driving by you might not notice it at all
The place was becoming a ghost town til the mayor made Shelley a deal
And the tourists came from miles around to see Shelley's Oldsmobile

Well Shelley came to Montreal and the Oldsmobile came too
And we drive all over the city when there's nothing better to do
We all load up on cigarettes and Shelley takes the wheel
And we head on down Ste. Catherine street in Shelley's Oldsmobile

But just about three weeks ago we ran right out of luck
And we've been driving since that day, I guess we're really stuck
This was my biggest nightmare, but now it's all too real
We just can't find a parking place for Shelley's Oldsmobile

Yeah we've run right out of cigarettes and we sure could use a meal...
But we're doomed to ride forever in Shelley's Oldsmobile.